I'd like to discuss several portions of A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis.
1. On page 5, Lewis describes what he calls "The laziness of grief." He speaks of a feeling of complacency -- not in every area of life, his job being one exception -- but in "smaller" ways. "What does it matter whether my cheek is rough or smooth?" He uses the analogy of an exhausted man lying in bed shivering. Instead of getting up to find a blanket, he continues to grow cold. He finishes his paragraph with, in my opinion, a profound statement: "It's easy to see why the lonely become untidy, finally, dirty and disgusting."
On page 8, Lewis is refuting the view that religion is simply a substitute for sex. He says, "Who'd bother with substitutes when he has the thing itself?" He says that he and his wife knew that they wanted something besides each other -- "...quite a different kind of something, a quite different kind of want. You might as well say that when lovers have one another they will never want to read, or eat -- or breathe."
2. The concepts Lewis presents on page 5 seem both "easy to see", as he puts it, and strangely cryptic all at once. When I originally read the text, I think I might have lingered with this portion the longest: "Only as a dog-tired man wants an extra blanket on a cold night; he'd rather lie there shivering than get up and find one." Upon a first reading, the sentence makes absolutely no sense. However, it's a bold analogy, and I think attempting to understand exactly how it applies to grief can also help us to understand why it was easy for Lewis to see why the lonely become "disgusting." I also believe that it relates to the quote on page 8 in a very important way.
3. I struggle with what to make of this analogy, but some possible interpretations come to mind.
I think of the initial feeling of shock after the loss of a loved one. The empty feeling, light-headedness, and pain so immense you almost can't feel it. This is the dog-tired man. The chill is reality. It is the surreal understanding that life, as you knew it, has ended. It's the long tunnel of grief and sorrow waiting ahead -- for you. The blanket is God's comfort -- yes, He can bless us with peace in that dark hour. The blanket is also reality -- the side even less imaginable at times: the reality of the goodness, eternity, joy, love, gratuitousness of God. It is the surreal understanding that life, as you knew it, has ended, but He is still there. It's the green pastures waiting on the other side of the valley of the shadow of death. It's the gentleness in the thunder's rumble, and the peaceful cleansing of the rain pelting you. Both the chill and the blanket -- God's grace for the night -- are real. Do we want to be warm? Or would we rather shiver?
I can understand the man wanting to shiver. One feels a sense of guilt for having the slightest comfort at times. (Lewis talks about this as well.) The gravity of the loss becomes more important to us than the peace we can recieve, more important than anything else God might have us do for the rest of life. This turns into a strange, backwards kind of selfishness -- one that mostly hurts ourselves.
Or, we may want God's help and comfort. The problem is that we can't get up. This may be the bigger issue. I think this also feels like fear -- fear of exherting anymore emotional energy, perhaps, but also something greater I can't explain. But when one does get up, I think that they fall into a rest so much sweeter than if they had tried to face the pain themselves -- riding out the stormy night alone.
Why the "little things"? Why do they seem to take up so much more energy? I think this also has to do with the scene of the man lying in bed. It's at night. He's alone. Certainly, during the day, we must impress and please others -- but at night, when we're by ourselves, it doesn't seem "worth it" anymore. Again, it's a strange sort of selfishness I think.
The danger is lying there. The danger is growing cold and cynical to God, ourselves, and the world. It's confirming the statement, "...when lovers have one another they will never want to read, or eat -- or breathe," in an odd way. It's saying that they were more important than anything else, and there's no way to function without them. A stanza from a Jars of Clay song says, "I have no fear of drowning, it's the breathing that's taking all this work." Sometimes the "little things" like shaving, or brushing your teeth, or breathing say much more than the "big things" like career and academia.
4. I think the "evidence" for my personal interpretation of this analogy lies in where the analogy is placed in the text. Lewis speaks of laziness, grief, and spirituality, and that is from where my ideas sprung. The analogy itself, the surrounding material I mentioned, and the quote on page 8 all come together in my interpretation.
5. So is it easier to see why the lonely become "dirty and disgusting"? I think this text provides some profound insight on seemingly inexplicable issues. I know a girl, who, after having suffered a loss, didn't clean her room thoroughly until very recently (almost three years later), and she couldn't explain why, or even why she had the sudden urge to clean her living space. She continued to do very well at her job and school, but the small, personal things were left undone. A glass with tea sat molding behind a box, shoes were tossed carelessly into the closet, and baskets of laundry sat piling up for weeks -- and she didn't seem to mind! (I won't mention the state of her car.)
To live, going through the motions of "life" in front of others, isn't exactly living. I think this text has helped me to better understand my friend, and perhaps have a better handle on how to help others find the blanket. I think getting up is the first step -- but we don't even do that by ourselves.
The blanket helps us mourn, but not like those who have no hope. If we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL0041GDsqE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsdCemfick0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJpNC0js0u8
No comments:
Post a Comment